aku & dia ..

saat aku terbaca blog dia baru ja sebentar tadi.. lantas air mata ku mengalir.. sebak d dada ku tak tertahan lagi.. Ya Allah.. aku kah yg tak pernah membahagiakan dia? akukah yg sering mlukakan hati dia? atau akukah yg tak pernah mengerti perasaan nya? atau sememangnya aku sering membebankan dia? adakah aku layak buat dia Ya Allah..? adakah aku memang jodoh dia? huh.. apapun.. aku hanya mampu bdoa agar Engkau merestui hubungan kami Ya Allah.. sesungguhnya hanya pada Mu tempat aku memohon ptolongan.. bantulah hambaMu yg kerdil ini Ya Allah dalam mharungi hidup ini bsama dia..

ingin skali alu luahkan padanya btapa aku sangat menyayanginya.. mcintai dia stulusnya.. spenuh jiwa dan ragaku ini slagi jasad masih bernyawa.. slagi nafas tak terhenti.. slagi semangat ku tak pernah mati.. ingin aku jeritkan pada alam bahawa AKU CINTA DIA!

meski hubungan kita sering dlanda masalah yg begitu menyesakkan kbelakangan in.. namun aku takkan berputus asa.. aku juga harap kau pun begitu & aku yakin kau juga merasakan yg sama..

Maafkan aku andai sering terlepas cakap atau terkasar bahasa padamu.. sungguh aku tak pernah terniat untuk bkelakuan sbgitu terhadapmu.. lately, aku akui aku sangat tertekan.. mslh d kelas.. mslh kwangan yg kta hadapi.. & banyak lagi.. aku harap juga hubungan kita akan sentiasa berkekalan. tidak ku sanggup lagi berdepan dgn perpisahan..

sungguh aku ingin kau tau btapa kau istimewa buatku.. tiada tandingan berbanding yg dulu.. kau cukup mbuatku bahagia.. kau tak pernah mengabaikan aku kcuali pada saat kau merasa tak keruan dan dalam keadaan terganggu.. sungguh kau amat bermakna dalam hidupku.. tiada dua atau tiganya di dunia ini.. personalitimu yg agak mencuit hati.. kromantisan mu yg tersembunyi.. kau la yg sntiasa bsamaku d mana saja aku berada.. kau la juga yg hadir d sisi tika ku berduka atau suka.. sifat mu yg amat penyayang buatku rasa sangat disayangi.. kebajikan ku kau jaga .. d samping bentuk wajahmu yg agak mempesonakan.. berseri2.. sentiasa memberi ktenangan kpadaku.. for me u are too cute and too handsome to be judge.. so baby face looking.. lembut belai mesra mu.. tak ku tergambarkan.. kau tak pernah jemu.. tak pernah muak.. tak pernah letih mlayan kerenah ku yg agak kbudakan.. kau fahami aku sdalamnya meski kta kdg2 punya pendapat yg berbeza.. kau terima kkurangan ku.. kau terima diriku apa adanya.. kau tenangkan aku d kala aku runsing dan tertekan.. kau stiasa menasihati ku memberi pdpt.. meski aku kuat memberontak dan keras kepala.. i cant describe you much longer cz u r to special.. there's so many things to say about u dear.. pendek kata:

YOU ARE UNEXPLAINABLE

YOUR MY EVERYTHING

THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER YOU..

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE YOU

& ONLY YOU THAT I ALWAYS LOVE

ALWAYS IN MY HEART

NO OTHER COULD REPLACE YOU

I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY ALL

WHY SO MEAN?

I am just wondering why people like to mess up and mind others? Perhaps for me it is better to live without interfering other's life.. Since last semester , i tend to just be silent of the bully i faced alone.. what i could do just sitting down at the corner and cry over the whole things.. what have i done wrong actually.. u all talk at my back.. called me this and that.. have i ever scold u all because of it? i am still smiling to u all.. giving my best cooperation in the class even deep inside i felt like wanna cry and scream out loud.. wanted so hard to ask what actually i have done wrong to u all? i smiled but have u all ever smiled back to me? i tried so hard to mingled with u all but have u all give me the opportunity to be part of u? I admit that im not a type of person that could laugh along with u all when u all act like crazy maniac but i had been once.. im a very friendly person ( yet maybe in my own place ) i thought Sabahans are very nice but.. im sorry.. hmm.. maybe not all but majority of the people i know here really annoyed me.. this is what u all wanted me to do is it? being mad at all of u.. is it? but why?? u all enjoyed to criticized and judged others but how about ur ownself? i certainly not saying that im all the way is right but im just wondering and would like to ask all this.. please someone answer me.. anyone of u.. i will be waiting until the day i could never listen to anyone no more.. I WILL BE WAITING..