Kerinduan Di Hati

Rindu. I cant even describe the feeling. Semakin hari semakin rindu pada nya. Entah apa yg dia buat skrg. Semester 3 ni, jauh berbeza dgn yang telah lepas. Jarang dapat berjumpa. Bila dapat jumpa pun rasa seperti tak jumpa. Huh. Aku rindu untuk makan bersamanya, bergurau bersamanya. Aku rindu pada hilai tawanya yang sentiasa mhiburkan aku. X tahu lah jika dia merasakannya jugak. Aku tersangat rindu padanya. Skrg cuti. Mau tak mau bertarung dgn line broadband utk communicate dgn dia mlalui ym atau skype atau lain2 saluran komunikasi yg ada. Nak calling tiap hari, payah jugak. Reload lagi, duit lagi. Haih.. Dulu, aku rasa gembira sgt cz tiap hari dpt jumpa, bkongsi cerita, bergelak ketawa. Semester ni, aku sering bmuram durja di bilik, sepi tanpa teman. Hidup di tempat org mmg agak susah. Satu2 nya teman setia aku hanya dia. Tanpanya, mbisu la aku spnjg hari. Aku jarang ketawa cz xda sebab utk aku ketawa. Lau ada dia, xpyh suruh ketawa pun confirm aku ketawa. Sering air mata gugur ke bumi, membasahi pipi. Setiap detik itu la aku cuba sembunyikan. Menyuarakan kerinduan di hati, kadang2 xdapat mbantu. Hanya mbuatkan dia mbisu seribu kata, xtahu nak buat apa. Maafkan aku ya.. Xbmksud utk ku mbebankan fikiran mu. X juga aku menyalahkan takdir utk suma ni. Kita cuba utk pasrah, trus mharungi slagi tmampu. Ku usahakan utk mbendung belenggu rindu ini yg smakin hari cuba utk mganas spt ombak yg mhempas pantai. Kdg2 hati ini rasa tidak keruan. Ingin sgt bjumpa, bsua muka, bcerita, bgembira. Huh.. Hanya Tuhan tau & hanya Dia mmpu menentukan yg tbaik buat kami. Moga Allah swt sntiasa mberkati hubungan kita. Sesungguhnya Dia Maha Mengetahui segalanya. Aku Rindu Padamu Syafiq Hazwan. Sungguh aku rindu.. huh

menu hari ini :)

BUBUR AYAM

minyak masak

bawang merah

halia

maggi cukup rasa

hirisan isi ayam

lada sulah

beras

air

garam

SEDAP!

menu kemarin :)

FAVERET HOTDOG

minyak masak

bawang merah

cili boh

hot dog Rose brand

garam

ajinomoto

kicap

sos tiram

sos cili bawang putih ( kalau sos cili biasa, sila tambah bawang putih )

lada sulah

gula

I LIKE!

Inilah Aku..

aku

dalam bicaraku

terselit rasa hiba

dalam ketawaku

tersimpan rasa duka

dalam senyumku

tersembunyi rasa pilu

dalam diamku

pasti ada sesuatu

yang mengguris hati

yang mencalar perasaan

yang menyentuh jiwa

lantas..

hanyutlah aku membawa hiba

terdamparlah aku bersama duka

kecewalah aku menyimpan pilu

sedihlah aku menghirup sendu

mungkinkah?

ada bahagia mengubat hati yang hiba

ada gembira memujuk perasaan yang duka

ada cahaya penawar jiwa yang pilu

ada sinar pencerai sendu

aku tidak tahu

tapi..

yang pasti..

ada kepedihan

ada juga kehampaan

yang mungkin tidak akan hilang

inilah aku

FRIENDS.. SOMEDAY

someday

you'll tell me that

you are leaving me

you'll probably

wish me

the best of luck

in all my undertakinngs

someday

i will look at you

in a way i can' describe

i'll think of you

looking back at the good times

and if you have to go

i'll know it's part of life

someday

i will cry

& you will cry

for the friendship we have shared

so.. one day

we will meet again

maybe it is one sweet day

but still the tears flow

for a friend lost!

2008

Wish the time could be retrays so that the moment we shared all together for this while would endlessly end. No word could describe how all of you cherish my life & how much you all meant to me. Its hard for me to say goodbye as for me, our friendship last forever and never ends. Unfortunately, we have to walk on our way. Our future drift us apart. Well, the day is beginning & yesterday's the past. Don't waste today as time flies away like dust. The day goes by while everyone strives to make ends meet eye to eye. Minutes tick by & soon tomorrow appears. The sun slowly sets & now it's dusk. Swirls of red & orange looks like rust. A walk in the night is a must. The day is ending so, cherish it while it lasts. Upon our friendship, I apologize for all the wrong that I have done. Nobody is perfect. So do I. But sincerely, you all complete my life, made me felt the perfection. We have our shares of arguments, our times of laughter & our shares of troubles, yet, we can always trust one another. Words can't express my appreciation but it means a lot to me that you all are my friends & I will love you all always. You all can see within me. Eyes.. full of hopes, to see all of us standing up & succeed. I will always pray along our journey of life. May God bless You all. InsyaAllah. For a second, I am thinking of " will you all remember me as I do? " Hope you all won't forget me & our memories.

credits to : Tracellia Nawi Unja, Nurul Azfina Bt Sidi, Noorashikin Aini Bt Rambli, Mohd Zami Afif Harriandy Suhaimi, Mohd Asyraf Ahmad Najib, Mohd Adib Abdul Ghani, Awg Khairul Aqmal , Fidya Bt Zamri & many others..

CINTA ITU PENAWAR: KATAKANLAH..

one day..

GURL: hyee.. nama saya Kyla.. awak?

BOY: ( dia hanya diam membisu tanpa kata sambil menundukkan kepalanya )

GURL: why are u so silent? saya tau awak xbole bercakap.. but awak bole bagitau saya dgn cara yg lain kn? saya ingin berkawan dgn awak :)

BOY: ( tersenyum & berkata dalam hati.. " saya syah.. "

Kedua2nya semakin rapat & meluangkan masa bersama tanpa mereka sedari betapa mereka mencintai satu sama lain.. Msg2 xtau perasaan masing2.. Sampai satu hari..

GURL: Esok tggu saya di tempat biasa ya? Saya ada hal pentinng mau bagitau awak..

BOY: ( hanya mengangguk & tersenyum)

Keesokkannya..

dia menunggu & terus menunggu tapi kyla xmuncul2 jadi dia pergi ke rumah.. abgnya.. mengatakan bahawa dia sakit.. & berkata lagi.. " xyah kau jumpa dia lagi.. sedarla diri tue ckit... kau tue bisu " Syah pergi dengan hati yg lara... Hari terus berlalu & dia terus menunggu sampai lah.. dia terjumpa Kyla d depan rumahnya.. Dia ingiin menyampaikan lukisan rama2 kepada Kyla.. Lantas..

GURL: Maafkan saya sebab xjumpa awak hari tue.. sebenarnya.. saya tak sanggup mau bagitau awak bahawa kita tak akan berjumpa lagi.. saya akan melanjutkan pelajaran ke luar negara.. Huh..

BOY: ( Dalam hatinya.. TIDAK!! Aku terlalu mencintai kamu.. aku tidak ingin berpisah.. )

GURL: Syah.. katakanlah bahawa Syah cintakan Kyla.. Syah akan tahan Kyla.. tolonglah.. dengan apa cara sekalipun.. huuhh... Kyla cintakan Syah.. huuuhh..

BOY: ( Hanya mampu membisu padahal hati meronta2)

Oleh kerana tak tahan.. Kyla berlalu pergi dengan esakan tangis yg masih kedengaran & air mata yg masih bercucuran.. dengan membawa lukisan rama2 d tangannya.. Syah xmampu buat apa2 kerana dia tak ingin jadi penghalang kejayaaan Kyla.. Walau hati berat tapi dia rela..

5tahun berlalu..

BUDAK KECIL: Mama! Mari sini! Tolong ni saya tak dapat lukis ne yg ada pada rama2 ne..

GURL: Mana? Lau xboleh lukis mari mama tolong..

BUDAK KECIL: Tue perkataan I LOVE U di badan rama2 tue..

GURL: Huh! ( Dia tersentak.. ternyata selama ini dia tak menyedari pada lukisan rama2 itu terdapat luahan hati Syah yg sekian lama membisu tanpa kata.. Air matanya bercucuran..)

BUDAK KECIL: Mama, napa nangis ne? Lau tak boleh lukis xpa la ya.. tapi mama jgn la nangis ya..

THE END

adapted from 143 by Kaoru

a very touching story.. i love it..

pliz.. luahkanlah sebelum anda terlambat..

aku & dia ..

saat aku terbaca blog dia baru ja sebentar tadi.. lantas air mata ku mengalir.. sebak d dada ku tak tertahan lagi.. Ya Allah.. aku kah yg tak pernah membahagiakan dia? akukah yg sering mlukakan hati dia? atau akukah yg tak pernah mengerti perasaan nya? atau sememangnya aku sering membebankan dia? adakah aku layak buat dia Ya Allah..? adakah aku memang jodoh dia? huh.. apapun.. aku hanya mampu bdoa agar Engkau merestui hubungan kami Ya Allah.. sesungguhnya hanya pada Mu tempat aku memohon ptolongan.. bantulah hambaMu yg kerdil ini Ya Allah dalam mharungi hidup ini bsama dia..

ingin skali alu luahkan padanya btapa aku sangat menyayanginya.. mcintai dia stulusnya.. spenuh jiwa dan ragaku ini slagi jasad masih bernyawa.. slagi nafas tak terhenti.. slagi semangat ku tak pernah mati.. ingin aku jeritkan pada alam bahawa AKU CINTA DIA!

meski hubungan kita sering dlanda masalah yg begitu menyesakkan kbelakangan in.. namun aku takkan berputus asa.. aku juga harap kau pun begitu & aku yakin kau juga merasakan yg sama..

Maafkan aku andai sering terlepas cakap atau terkasar bahasa padamu.. sungguh aku tak pernah terniat untuk bkelakuan sbgitu terhadapmu.. lately, aku akui aku sangat tertekan.. mslh d kelas.. mslh kwangan yg kta hadapi.. & banyak lagi.. aku harap juga hubungan kita akan sentiasa berkekalan. tidak ku sanggup lagi berdepan dgn perpisahan..

sungguh aku ingin kau tau btapa kau istimewa buatku.. tiada tandingan berbanding yg dulu.. kau cukup mbuatku bahagia.. kau tak pernah mengabaikan aku kcuali pada saat kau merasa tak keruan dan dalam keadaan terganggu.. sungguh kau amat bermakna dalam hidupku.. tiada dua atau tiganya di dunia ini.. personalitimu yg agak mencuit hati.. kromantisan mu yg tersembunyi.. kau la yg sntiasa bsamaku d mana saja aku berada.. kau la juga yg hadir d sisi tika ku berduka atau suka.. sifat mu yg amat penyayang buatku rasa sangat disayangi.. kebajikan ku kau jaga .. d samping bentuk wajahmu yg agak mempesonakan.. berseri2.. sentiasa memberi ktenangan kpadaku.. for me u are too cute and too handsome to be judge.. so baby face looking.. lembut belai mesra mu.. tak ku tergambarkan.. kau tak pernah jemu.. tak pernah muak.. tak pernah letih mlayan kerenah ku yg agak kbudakan.. kau fahami aku sdalamnya meski kta kdg2 punya pendapat yg berbeza.. kau terima kkurangan ku.. kau terima diriku apa adanya.. kau tenangkan aku d kala aku runsing dan tertekan.. kau stiasa menasihati ku memberi pdpt.. meski aku kuat memberontak dan keras kepala.. i cant describe you much longer cz u r to special.. there's so many things to say about u dear.. pendek kata:

YOU ARE UNEXPLAINABLE

YOUR MY EVERYTHING

THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER YOU..

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE YOU

& ONLY YOU THAT I ALWAYS LOVE

ALWAYS IN MY HEART

NO OTHER COULD REPLACE YOU

I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY ALL

WHY SO MEAN?

I am just wondering why people like to mess up and mind others? Perhaps for me it is better to live without interfering other's life.. Since last semester , i tend to just be silent of the bully i faced alone.. what i could do just sitting down at the corner and cry over the whole things.. what have i done wrong actually.. u all talk at my back.. called me this and that.. have i ever scold u all because of it? i am still smiling to u all.. giving my best cooperation in the class even deep inside i felt like wanna cry and scream out loud.. wanted so hard to ask what actually i have done wrong to u all? i smiled but have u all ever smiled back to me? i tried so hard to mingled with u all but have u all give me the opportunity to be part of u? I admit that im not a type of person that could laugh along with u all when u all act like crazy maniac but i had been once.. im a very friendly person ( yet maybe in my own place ) i thought Sabahans are very nice but.. im sorry.. hmm.. maybe not all but majority of the people i know here really annoyed me.. this is what u all wanted me to do is it? being mad at all of u.. is it? but why?? u all enjoyed to criticized and judged others but how about ur ownself? i certainly not saying that im all the way is right but im just wondering and would like to ask all this.. please someone answer me.. anyone of u.. i will be waiting until the day i could never listen to anyone no more.. I WILL BE WAITING..

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF JANCY

Yesterday , having a BEL class and yet my group was given an article to read off and yet i could summarize it as follow:

There is a girl named Jancy that has faced a very challenging life due to their family's poverty . During the age of 4 , she was wondering why that their family never own a car like she saw their neighborhood who's owning a new toyota the pass few days . Yet , she asked her mom. Her mom just answered " i have u , ur sister , ur father and this house , it is enough . "

Her family had just owned an old rusty bicycle to commute to anywhere until the day it had been stolen . Then , they just have to walk on feet . That time she was eight . As the family grew , there were even more bills to pay . Her mother always reminded her not to troublesome others even their neighbor did offered a lift or other help . So.. they continued their daily life as usual . They walk and walk and walk even it is tiring . One day , her father did told her that " God sees that you are walking for him . He will reward you . "

Times passed by.. and yet they managed to experince journey in a train or commuter to go to work but not often as using the public trnsports and enjoying a flight when she was offered to study biotechnology in a university in Sabah . Until one day her mother said that her sister is going to buy a car . Unfortunately , that time she was not that excited to own a car anymore . She would be thankful to God that she already have her family and house , that is more than enough .


From the story , i could say that poverty is not the reason for us to stop living our life happily . Happiness is not just about wealth but the love bonds between all of us and the way we treat ourself to be happy at all times.. Money is not everything..